Temperance is a card that has followed me around my whole life. It’s the card that has come up for me in personal card pulls more than any other, by far. It feels like it’s connected to something very deep inside me.
So, imagine my frustration when I am unable to figure out the message of the card, again and again. The meaning alluded me completely.
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Last week I was depressed. Not the usual all-the-time low-grade depression that’s been normal for me since childhood, but instead something hard and intense and ruthless.
It came out of nowhere and instantly took me down into the depths of sadness and despair. I had entered a new, unfamiliar reality where every person despised me and I was a horrible burden to anyone I locked eyes with.
I’ve been there before, but I hate it. When I’m in it, it feels so real. Much more real than even this moment now. Like a veil has been lifted and I can now see actuality.
I can’t, of course, but that’s what it feels like.
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